Posts Tagged ‘Troubled Marriage’

Is Your Troubled Marriage Savable? Perhaps Some Of These Ideas Might Work

Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009

When a couple find themselves in a troubled marriage it can be very stressful for both partners. One solution is to look more closely at all those small things, to see if you can find solutions that will work for you. Here are some ideas for you to try.

Try being corny sometimes. It sounds like a cliche but doing something corny. like giving flowers, chocolate, after shave, or any other presents on Valentine’s Day, or even at other times, really can be so romantic. Why not arrange a nice ‘candlelit’ dinner for both of you, and play some sensual music when you’re feeling romantic. And you should never forget that there is a reason some of these ideas are corny ? it’s because they actually work! They help to create that romantic atmosphere – which can keep the lights burning brightly for you both. So, why not go ahead and be corny from time to time.

Why not try being unpredictable now and again, and do something which is unexpected, that will help your spouse, or partner, see that you care. As an example, if you have a favorite take-away restaurant, then stop by on the way home from work and give him, or her, a surprise and a night off from cooking your meal. It may sound small but it counts towards showing that you consider your partner, and want to do something for you both.

Another example; try taking on an annoying chore that your partner loathes doing. With my wife it?s ironing. I know that she does the ironing so much better than me, if the truth is known, but that’s not the issue. But I decided that she?d done enough ironing to last her a lifetime! My solution was to do it all for her, and I know she appreciates me doing it, so she can do other fun things with the time she saves. Mind you I did spend a small fortune on buying a new ?super-duper? iron that gives off more steam than an old-fashioned steam locomotive. I have to make up for my shortcomings in ironing by using technology!

So think about a chore your spouse doesn’t like doing and take it over, even if it’s only occasionally. In my case I decided to take over responsibility for doing the ironing, for the rest of our lives together. I know it sounds stupid, but it really is worth it to me in the ‘brownie points I get. My view was that if it makes my wife feel more ‘cared for’ then the two or three hours I spent on the task was well spent and worth the investment of my time in it.

The fact is that anyone can end up in a troubled marriage if we don’t think things through and try and be more thoughtful. Sometimes, doing those unpredictable things, even the ?corny’ ones, can pay real dividends. Why not go and write down a shortlist of items you could consider doing to help your spouse, or partner, and then do them for him, or her? Or you could share them between you perhaps, if you don’t feel you could take them over permanently. For some people being romantic comes easy, for others it is less so. But try and work on ideas that can help to cement your relationship, and friendship – even if they seem a bit worn out and corny to you. They may not be ‘worn-out’ to your spouse, or partner, so just go ahead and be corny from time to time.

A <a href="http://www.relationship-secrets.com” rel=”nofollow”>troubled marriage can often be a stressful marriage. But it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s the small stuff you need to pay attention to sometimes. This is a site with some really good romantic ideas => http://www.relationship-secrets.com so it’s worth paying a visit to see if it can help you.
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Help Me Save My Marriage

Friday, November 20th, 2009

Help me save my marriage! Is this cry echoing inside your head? Are you searching for a solution to the problems that are threatening to blow up your marriage? Then you are doing the right thing, right now; by getting more information about how to deal with the common problems in a marriage.  

Common problems in a marriage can cover a number issues, irritations, and insecurities. However, we are not talking here about things like squeezing the toothpaste tube in the middle or leaving the toilet seat up. These things are irritations and if they destroy a marriage, it is because the partners did not have the strength of commitment and communication to be married in the first place.  

The marriage problems that can destroy a marriage usually fall into three general categories:  

1. Jobs, roles and money  

2. Fidelity and loyalty  

3. Communication and trust  

Each of these categories can be the home for a problem in a marriage that can bring so much tension, anger and distrust into the marriage, that it can destroy the union. Each area is important but nearly all marriage-counseling professionals will agree that without communication and trust, the rest can’t be resolved.  

It is time to ask yourself some questions in order to increase your chances of saving your marriage:  

1. Did you see it coming?  

2. Are you looking to assign blame to someone?  

3. How deep are your feelings of resentment, distrust or disrespect?  

If you were shocked and amazed when your partner declared they did not want to be married to you anymore, why was that? Too focused on your job or another area of your life? You need to answer this question so you know what was going on or you have no hope of fixing the problem.  

Take the time to ask yourself if your search for information is really about saving your marriage or are you trying to find an answer that will help you blame someone else or some other area of your life. As marriages unravel, there is plenty of blame to go around. Make sure you look inside yourself.  

Finally, it is critical that you assess your feelings for your partner going forward. Have the circumstances simply tested the love and commitment in the marriage or are deeper and darker emotions gaining strength in this crisis? If one or both partners are feeling strong or deep-seated resentment, lack of trust or respect for the other, a solution may be very hard to find.

At Help Me Save My Marriage we know that finding a solution can be a very difficult task. Recognizing that, it is of immediate and critical importance that you be willing to secure the resources that can support you in saving your marrriage. Fortunately Amy Waterman and Richard Wheeler have created a step by step guide for you to follow and save your marriage.

This guide is called <a href="http://www.HelpMe-SaveMyMarriage.com” rel=”nofollow”>Save My Marriage Today, and it has all the techniques necessary to enable you to facilitate resolving conflicts, increase self esteem, learn about forgiveness, and re-ignite the passion that you both once felt, all within the privacy and comfort of your own home. Save yourself the time and embarrassment of explaining it all to a counselor. Get the answers to your most urgent issues right now! You are the best one to save your marriage. Let us show you how. It may be the best advice you have ever had!

Take the time right now to visit http://www.HelpMe-SaveMyMarriage.com and learn more about this incredible book that can Save Your Marriage Today.
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Marriage Advice for Wives – Sometimes You May Need to Bite Your Tongue to Save Your Marriage

Sunday, November 15th, 2009

As wives we sometimes allow our tongues to destroy our marriages. We say things that come to our mouths and could not care less if our husbands are offended. However, what many wives fail to realize is that words can sometimes cut deeper and hurt more severely than any weapon that causes a physical wound.

Maybe your tongue is destroying your marriage and you are not even aware of it. You blame everything and everyone else while you need to pay attention to what you say and how you say it. The remainder of this article will look at two ways your tongue can destroy your marriage and how to use it to save your marriage.

Using Your Tongue as a Weapon Compared to most men, women seem to have the gift of converting words to weapons. We know exactly what to say to pierce our husbands and cause them to feel hurt or guilty about something they did or said. However, in the same way that a weapon can kill, your words can also kill your marriage. 

Proverbs chapter twenty one and verse nineteen tells us that, “better to live in a dessert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife”. I think this passage is so true for many husbands. They would prefer to be uncomfortable somewhere else than to be around you.

Take some time to analyze your marriage to ensure that this is not happening in your marriage.

Using Your Tongue to Push Away Your Husband Many husbands become unresponsive and uncommunicative because they are afraid of what will come out of their spouse’s mouth if they are to have a conversation with them. 

So instead of talking to them about issues that concern them, they find other women. 

Sadly but true these relationships can lead to emotional affairs which in many cases also lead to physical affairs. 

Another way of pushing away your husband is by nagging him. Some wives have mastered the art of nagging in order to get their own way. But although they get their own way today, this is causing resentment on their husbands’ part and eventually this can lead to a lack of love, affection and intimacy. 

Using Your Tongue to Heal Your Marriage In order to heal your marriage you may need to bite your tongue at times. Biting your tongue means to take control of it, being careful of what you say. However, for some wives who have no self control, you may need to literally bite it in order to stop you from talking without thinking. 

Let us now look at some positive ways to use your tongue to heal your marriage, especially if you have been using it as a weapon or to push away your husband.

Conclusion Never underestimate the power of your tongue and ensure that your husband sees it as a loving tool and not a destructive weapon. Watching what you say is one of the fastest ways to save your marriage and encourage your husband to be more communicative and loving.

Do you want to learn more about being a great wife?

If your answer is yes you can visit Mark and Lesia at: http://www.marriagethermometer.com 

When you go there, do not forget to get your FREE copies of our Marriage Thermometer Ebook and Video Book. 

Life is too short to spend it wishing you had a happy and steaming hot marriage when you can do something about it.

Mark and Lesia Gregory are Marriage Counselors & Wedding Planners with over 10 years of experience. What started as a passion to make a difference in people’s lives and marriages quickly took a turn to become a professional marriage counseling team.
They are the authors and fouders of the Marriage Thermometer Principles, a marriage therapy solution which begins with couples using their uniquely engineered Marriage Thermometer Software to determine the temperature of their marriage. Couples can then proceed to using the Marriage Thermometer eBooks, Audio, Econsultations and other Resources that relate to infidelity, improving your sex life, respect, communication, unhappy marriages and much more.
They are also dedicated Christians for over 26 years combined and attend the Kingston Church of Christ where they met each other, fell in love and got married.
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How to Fix a Troubled Marriage

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009

Various demographic groups have revealed the shocking truth that about 41-43% of marriages today ends in divorce. This statistical analysis was presented by Glenn T. Stanton, the Senior Analyst for Marriage and Sexuality at Focus on the Family and the Director of Global for Cultural and Family Renewal. Stanton’s research only reveals that Christians who attend the church regularly have 35% lower rates than secular couples. Such trend is also shown with active Catholics and Protestants. However, Christians who seldom attend church have higher chances of getting a divorce than those secular couples. In this research, it’s only visible that with the enormous rates of divorce in these three religions, it’s unspeakable that troubled marriage is one of the major issues that families face today.
Troubled marriage is like a cancer that grows. Together with divorce, various problems continuously arise and affect the families. Nevertheless, when marriage is troubled, you should fix it right away. It’s but the only crucial thing to do to regain peace of mind. The following are guidelines for you to follow in fixing your troubled marriage2:
1. Fear underlies control issues. – Control truly creates problems in marriages. The problems that you may have experienced during those times are understandably intense. However, they tend to include rage against the other person. Most people feel security when the people around them have the same opinions, choices and beliefs as them. Your fears and safety needs add to your wants for others to be like you. There is this adage saying, “There is safety in numbers.” This adage only explains ones primitive fear of being alone. To fix your troubled marriage, don’t dwell on these fears. Taking in control by predicting the behavior and expectations of others is not truly taking in control.
2. Expecting your spouse to be like you only harms your marriage. – Control issues also drive you to thinking that your spouse is an extension of yourself. This kind of view results to dictating others from the hair to the friends, or even to the views and opinions that your spouse holds. While your spouse may try to change to give you your peace of mind, you are building a parent-child dynamic. This relationship could then foster resentment or even rebellion. To fix your troubled marriage, stop expecting too much!
3. Calling names and using insults are attempts to regain control. – During troubled marriages, pathological behaviors are also triggered at certain times. For instance, a partner becomes angry that the spouse fails to follow one could turn out to be emotionally or physically abusive. Giving punishment may just be the thinking of the other person that name calling or even derogatory put-downs are thrown to the other half. Such control issue should be changed. Calm yourself and stop for a moment. Ask yourself and think about your response. Is it right?
If you want to fix your troubled marriage, fix your control issues first. Who knows? The problem could’ve just been about it all along.

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