Posts Tagged ‘stop divorce’

Save Your Marriage by Going To The Root of the Problem

Saturday, December 5th, 2009

There is so much written about “how to save a marriage” it can seem a bit overwhelming at times. The truth is no one can really save your marriage but you. Marriage gurus can throw out the breadcrumbs, but in the end it is all about you and your willingness to do what really needs to be done to save your marriage.

Your marriage belongs to God. And when you truly believe this that is when you can actually give yourself (marriage) to God. If you don’t believe that your marriage belongs to God then you are reading the wrong article.

What happens when you hand your marriage over to God? God helps you to look beyond the petty quarrelling, faults and weaknesses of each other. Why focus on the negative? When you stop focusing on the negative aspects of your spouse you will be better able to seek a solution, not based on negative feelings, but on the principled acts of love. As long as you base your marriage on “how your spouse makes you feel” nothing will ever improve.

Marriage gurus can attempt to tell you what needs to be done to improve your marriage but they can’t go to God for you. They can’t make your heart willing to see what needs to be done so you can make the necessary changes in yourself. If you believe that marriage belongs to God then you have to give your marriage to God. Why do you keep giving it to the world? Does your marriage belong to God or to the world? You decide.

Are you carrying around a not so humble heart toward your spouse? What is that going to do for you? Absolutely nothing. I believe that once you can take your eyes off of your spouse’s faults you’ll be able to see your faults much more clearly.  The problem is not that your spouse cheated, or that they are controlling, or wrapped up within an addiction, or that they are cruel and treat you bad. The problem is in how you allow these things to affect you and how you react because of them.

The root of the problems in marriage stem from the inability to properly resolve issues and the lack of understanding the importance of priorities. The major setback for couples is they are not using the principles for marriage that have been taught to them. Couples aren’t resolving issues and when they do they go by their own understanding of what they think should be done. But it is not what should be done based on the Creator of marriage.

Principle 2. Be a giver. Give in. Be encouraging. Show compassion. Be submissive. Be forgiving. Ask Christ for the guidance you need. When we don’t allow these principles to take precedent in our lives we are handling our marriage just like everyone else…without God. If you believe you are a child of God then show it in your marriage. Christian love is not a feeling but a choice. Have you made your choice?

Principle 3. Be respectful of Spouse.  Be considerate of your spouse’s feelings. Show reverence and high opinion for the person you married.  Be appreciative of what you have been blessed with. I’ve noticed lately that people treat their animals better than their spouse. This is very wrong! Let go of anger and bitterness or it will make you sick, literally. What is controlling your heart in your marriage? If your heart only cares about getting your needs met through your spouse then your marriage is in dire trouble.

THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM IS…

Principle 1. God should guide your marriage. Placing God where God belongs, at the top of your priority list is what your marriage needs! Humble your heart and mind to God and you will see more clearly to what your position is in the marriage. You are not God and your spouse is not God, and trying to control each other as if you were God will never work! That’s not the way God designed marriage to be.

Putting God first means everything you say and do comes from the principles taught you for living a righteous life. Now you will have something beautiful and awesome to base your marriage on.  If your marriage belongs to God then the top of your priority list is putting God first, spouse second, children third, and ministry and self last.

And he sat down, and called the twelve, and saith unto them, If any man desire to be first, the same shall be last of all, and servant of all. Mark 9:35

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Is There Hope to Save a Marriage and Stop a Divorce

Saturday, November 21st, 2009

There’s always hope to save a marriage even if only you want toThe problem with the advice you get from most marriage guidance councillors is that it involves effort from both you and your partner. This is ok if both of you want to repair the relationship and avoid breaking up but what if your partner isn’t interested in saving your marriage? You’re unlikely to get the results you are looking for if this is the case but what if I could show you some ways to get your ex back even if your ex doesn’t want to come back?Relationships are great in the beginning aren’t they?Relationships are often wonderful to start with. You are both fresh to each other and you’re still discovering how great it can be together. As time goes by however, you get used to each other and if you don’t keep doing new and exciting things to keep the interest levels up then there is a tendency for you to grow apart. Sooner or later one partner decides that they’ve had enough and leaves.Don’t make this very common mistakeIt’s often the case that one partner suddenly wakes up at this point and realizes what’s happened, realizes what’s been happening for months or maybe even years without even noticing. Panic sets in at the thought of losing your loved one and you start to plead with your soon-to-be ex to change their mind. You pour out your heart to her and promise that all sorts of things will change.Stop – You won’t save your marriage by pleadingThe last thing you should do is plead with your partner to change her mind because she won’t, in fact you’ll just make things worse. Don’t make promises that you can’t keep because she won’t believe you anyway. I know that it’s hard but you must take a step back from the situation and get on with your own life. Showing that you can live without her will actually draw her towards you. It’s strange I know but it’s true.Get a life – you might be surprised by what happensI remember a long time ago when my long-standing relationship was breaking up. We had drifted apart for many reasons and I’d tried very hard for a very long time to stop my partner from leaving. Nothing worked and I finally gave up when I realized that I’d be better off getting a life than trying desperately to hold on to one that was obviously going nowhere.What happened next surprised the life out of me. I stopped pleading and I told her that I’d accepted that it was all over and that we should go our separate ways. I thought that was what she wanted but was I wrong? Now it was me who was the bad guy! I was the one breaking up the relationship not her and she wanted to get it back.Is There Hope To Save A Marriage? You bet there is…I’m afraid things had gone too far for me at this point and my ex’s pleading simply pushed me further away but I can’t help wondering what would have happened had I known this secret a lot earlier. We might still be together and happily married. If you understand this secret you could stop your divorce and save your marriage.

Learn the secrets of how to stop your divorce by ending your marriage. Stop your divorce by making your spouse love you like she used to: http://www.howdo-i.com/save-my-marriage/how-can-i-make-my-wife-love-me-again.php
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Tips to Save a Marriage – Emotional Understanding

Thursday, November 19th, 2009

Emotional understanding may seem obvious when dealing with matters of the heart such as marital problems and possible impending divorce but just how much do you truly know about your spouse, what they feel and even what YOU really feel? These tips to save a marriage will go over some key points you need to address and understand before any real headway can be made to stop a divorce and return to a blissful marriage.

Did you know humans have three brains? It is true!

Why is this important though? Because we are not as in control of our thinking and actions as we think we are! Our mid brain where we process the emotions of a situation is a lot stronger and has more influence over the logical part of our brain even when we think we are behaving completely rationally.

The mid brain is also a lot more active when we are speaking with other people as our emotions are a major part of how we interact as people and a society and in a marriage which is why you can sometimes be thinking clearly then when we come face to face and an arguments starts the old brain activates the fight or flight reaction, the mid brain which has received a flood of hormones spikes what it is feeling such as fear or anger or guilt and the new brain trying to be logical is overcome by emotions, brain chemistry and a whole host of other things.

That is when we say those things we do not really mean.

The human mind is an amazing thing though and we can control it and understand it so a few tips to save a marriage in regards to emotional understanding are:

So by understanding how your brain works in regards to emotion you can approach communication and actions with tips to save a marriage knowing how not to sabotage your efforts on the human emotional rollercoaster that happens when a couple faces divorce.

Click below for complete guides on how you can save your marriage even if you are the only one who thinks it possible.

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Saving Your Marriage – Can You Do It?

Thursday, November 19th, 2009

In our world, tons of couples face problems and dissimilarities that lead to miserable marriages that at times leads to divorce. Although nobody wants a broken marriage, sometimes it is unavoidable. Here are some guidelines to consider in saving your marriage.

Take the initiative. Wives ought to do small things, or small gestures that are very important for your husband.  Cooking special meals, preparing his clothes for work and small gifts and cards when he least expects them.

Keeping secrets would not get you anywhere good with your marriage. Whatever it is that you would wish to discuss to your partner, do so. If sex is a problem for you, then be open about it.

Communication does not only involve talking, you have to listen as well. Giving each other the opportunity to talk is a good option. Every single thing that is being brought up should become your guidelines so that the two of you will learn how to respect your partner’s feelings and points of views.

Although easier said than done, if you are really interested in saving your marriage, the couple ought to know how to go on with their lives. Try not to dwell in the past where mistakes are made. One must learn to accept and forget all the mistakes that had been done.

Seeking advice from your friends or family is strongly recommended. Getting one from a counselor is a good option as well. Both husband and wife have to commit and be devoted to attend sessions. Where they will be able to speak their thoughts and speak freely.

These are merely only some of the tips that can help save the marriage. Love ought to always be at hand in order to save the relationship. It is love that would make all these things a lot easier to do and will aid in saving a marriage that was predestined to last forever.

How to Save Your Marriage

Is it possible to save your marriage? Discover the 3 most common mistakes
you must absolutely avoid when you are trying to save your marriage.

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Seek Out For Counseling To Save Your Marriage

Thursday, November 19th, 2009

When a couple gets married, they have a propensity to take no notice of counseling, not knowing how vital counseling is when you want to save your marriage. Couples who had encounter problems with their accord wait too long before they will look for help of a marriage counselor. Therapy has many benefits, like giving some room to those people who are in a relationship to discern what have caused the issue in order to find the appropriate solution to the problem. Heaps of partners will imagine that to submit to counseling is just like admitting that their marriage is in a state of failing.

On saving a marriage, you must behold what counseling can do to revive your matrimonial afflictions. To make the therapy work, married couple must be fully dedicated in order for them to save their relationship. Counseling will not aid the relationship if even one of you will just go through it reluctantly. Before the wound has occurred, a councilor will be of a vast assistance if you as a couple will settle on seeking an advice earlier. In order to save the marriage, both parties must try to communicate openly and must be responsive of even the slightest changes in the relationship. Being sensitive of such degrees might aid contain issues before they become too hard for counseling to resolve.

In saving a marriage, both couples should be eager to do almost everything it must take in order for the relationship to work. Love must nevertheless be in the equation for the counseling to work. Concerns might as well become more complex when certain factors are implicated, like children and problems financially. Good counseling is not hard to find; there are numbers of good counselors out there who are keen to do what they can to reclaim what is left of your marriage.

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How to Effectively Save Your Marriage

Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

If your relationship is on the rocks and you are afraid divorce is inevitable, think again. You may, with the right skills and enough effort, be able to save your marriage. However, it is not an easy process and both partners have to be willing to put in the work. You cannot fix a relationship by assuming the answer is your partner giving in. Here are a few tips on how to rescue you and your love from a bad situation.
You are an equal partner. Understand that the key to saving your marriage is not getting everything you demand or giving into whatever your partner once. These kinds of solutions are short term band-aids that only allow the situation to get worse. You both have to have an equal part in the relationship, though equality does not mean that you have exactly the same roles.
Remember that everything can be fixed. There is no problem that is impossible to repair if you and your partner are willing to work on it. It does not matter if you are feeling incompatible in the bedroom, dealing with an affair, or having money problems. Learning to communicate and being patient will help both of you come to terms with whatever has happened or is happening.
That does not mean that all sins have to be immediately forgiven, but you do have to be willing to work on the situation. Learn not to accuse or judge, even when you are angry or you feel your partner is in the wrong. With enough work from both sides, your relationship can be salvaged.
Communication is important! Your partner is not a mind reader and may not know why you are feeling agitated or unhappy. However, in order to effectively communicate the problem, you also have to know what it is. It is vital that both partners in a relationship learn to examine their own thoughts, emotions, and assumptions to come to a balanced solution. You cannot save your marriage if you do not know what is wrong.
Think hard about what the problems are and where they are really coming from. It is easy to blame your troubles on something obvious, but that is not always the real root of the trouble. Once you know what is happening in your mind and why you react the way you do, you and your partner can get to work on solving your problems.
You are going to have to give a few things up to save your marriage. If you and your partner spend a lot of time arguing, one of the things that is going to have to go is trying to win an argument. Really, there is no winner in a fight because every fight that is not resolved results in a deeper divide between you. As a couple, you will need to learn to address these situations as a challenge to solve, not a battle to win.
Remember, a marriage is a partnership. You have to work with your spouse to develop a relationship that functions and is healthy and positive for both persons. Do not be afraid to talk to a professional if you feel the need to. Marriage counselors and others are trained in teaching people how to talk to each other and work out their differences. If you are willing to put forth the effort, you can certainly save your marriage.

Alan Largo is the creator and administrator of Save Any Marriage and strives to assist others identify with their adverse marital situation through informative reviews. You’re invited to visit Save Any Marriage to read his most recent article review.
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How to Save Your Marriage – Working Out Your Differences

Saturday, November 14th, 2009

If you had planned on ending your marriage at a predetermined time and date you probably would never have said “I do” in the first place. When a couple gets married they usually are very honest in meaning “until death do us part” but as time progresses the magic that was felt in the marriage initially tends to disappear. That is when the thoughts often turn to alternative actions such as divorce. Divorce, however, is not a necessity – there are other ways to work out your differences.

First, you need to plan more time together. Block out all interruptions such as cell phones, get a baby sitter for the kids if necessary and enjoy a second honeymoon at home. Have a quiet dinner with candlelight and perhaps some soft music. In fact, plan to spend at least one meal eating together on a daily basis whether it is at home or away. Relax together and finally start to talk to each other and in turn listening. Try to share how you feel with your spouse and in turn attempt to understand their position.  

An often overlooked means of rekindling that loving feeling is by use of love letters. Leave your spouse a love letter as you depart for work in the morning. You would be surprised how this little act can open up new and wondrous feelings between the two of you.  

Make your spouse the number one priority in your life. Put them back up on that pedestal and show them that you still care and worship their very existence. Do nice things for them that quickly show them how you care. Arrange some time where you can be intimate once again with your spouse. This is one quick way to bring back that loving spirit.  

Hard work can and will save a marriage but only if you put your best efforts into it. Believe me it will certainly be worth your bother.

According to statistics, 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce. Don’t become another statistic…instead, get the exact steps to reignite your marriage and fire up your romance for years to come over at http://www.tipstosaveamarriage.net/freereport If you’re unable to get councelling (or want quicker and cheaper results) then now’s your chance to try a proven alternative way to saving your marriage.

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Tips to Save a Marriage – Avoiding the Blame Game

Friday, November 13th, 2009

The blame game is something we have all probably played at one stage of another with our loved ones. The tendency to combat accusations of blame by finding something you can throw back at them to even the score. These tips to save a marriage article will focus on blame and retaliation, what is behind it and how you can avoid it to save your marriage and stop a divorce.

Blame has two angles: To bring up problems in a relationship and to hurt the other person.

Now one of these things has a legitimate place in communication when a marriage is in trouble and heading for divorce and the other one just speeds it along and accomplishes nothing and breaks down the communication channel into arguments, shouting matches and the never ending blame game that mires you in revenge and anger that is hard to crawl out of. I think you see which one I am referring to …

As has been mentioned why people do this is because there ARE problems in a relationship that need to be addressed, you cannot close your eyes and mind to he fact that you may have made mistakes when someone calls you out on it but you can direct where you go from there wisely. This is made difficult of course when the tone and intent of this accusation is barbed and poisonous and meant to hurt but you must make a decision at this point. Do you want to save your marriage? Or do you want to spiral down the road to divorce?

If you want to work through the problems and not be divorced then there is a simple formula you can follow when the blame game gets started that will calm the situation down, allow grievances to be brought up and allow you in the end not to feel like you have ‘lost’ your honor or self respect.

1. Accept the blame

Now this may make you angry, this may make your blood boil when you are accused of something perhaps that was not your fault or that was very minor and is being blown into huge proportions. The problem is refuting that claim simply brings the anger level up and the ability to discuss things rationally so the first thing you HAVE to do is diffuse the situation. Simply accept the criticism even if you do not believe it, nod and listen and endure because if you love this person and want to salvage a marriage you need to hear them out in full so swallow your pride and know this is not the end but endure it for the sake of your marriage.

2. Listen to the problem behind the complaint

Blame and accusations do not come from nowhere and even if they are overplayed or even just plain wrong your job should not be to throw that back at them but listen to the real message behind it. You must try to empathize with your spouse and try to see things from their point of view even if you do not agree. This is because a complaint about spending too much money might not be actually about the money spent but might be about making decisions together maybe. Or an argument about perceived flirting with other people might more be about their insecurity and their feelings that they are fading in your interests even if they do trust you. It can be complex and people often do not say what they really mean when they are aiming to hurt so your listening skills and empathy skills must be turned up to the max.

3. DO not retaliate!

By this stage you may have a better understanding of the issues and if you can keep control of your own tongue you may almost get to a breakthrough. Do not use any insight and knowledge to launch another attack back at them because that destroys everything you have just learned. Hold you tongue, even agree with them if there is ’some’ truth to the accusation but do not act defeated or cowed because you need to now be the strong one and propose a solution not cave in or retaliate.

4. Question!

This may seem like the last thing you want to do but delving further into their complaint can reveal more hidden anxieties, fears and problems that they may not know they even have. Talk to them and ask ‘why’ about certain things calmly and rationally and keep the peace because you may have just opened up a great line of communication if you can be the bigger person and do not enter the blame game.

5. Use this communication line to broach other topics

If you have managed to get somewhere by now the retaliations that were on your lips but never said can come out in a constructive way by raising them as a problem without any barbed attacks attached because by this stage if you have gone through their problems in detail a feeling of reciprocation will often exist that will allow you to put forward your own point of view.

By following these tips to save your marriage you can avoid the blame game and approach the task of mending a relationship with a better understanding of each others point of view and a way to communication properly. For more help on how you can stop an impending divorce even if you are the only one that seems to want it click below for complete guides to save your marriage.

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Try Hard To Stop Your Divorce And Save Your Marriage

Friday, November 13th, 2009

The union of marriage is certainly worth fighting for. If you have taken measures to end your marital relationship it is advised that you stop your divorce, save your marriage and do so at all costs. The bond of matrimony is as exclusive and complex as any ever created. The vows you took on your wedding day were meant for a lifetime and were given birth through the most powerful emotion in the world, the emotion of love. The act of marriage should never be taken lightly. The best way to avoid future problems in marriage is to lay the right foundation from the very beginning of the relationship. Discuss all the possible issues that might arise in your marriage and how they will be dealt with. It is always important to ensure that you are financially prepared for the union. Marriage is a big responsibility. Planning is crucial to success.No one in his or her right mind has ever made the claim that the journey of marriage is easy. There will be obstacles and potholes on this road that must be confronted carefully. There will be arguments and disagreements that get out of hand. The important thing is how you approach these problems. Before you throw it all away, stop your divorce, save your marriage and breath life back into your relationship. Divorce should always be the final option in a relationship.This advice should always be heeded, stop your divorce, save your marriage and fight for your relationship with all of your heart and soul. It was worth it when you fell in love and that makes it worth saving now.

If stop your divorce save your marriage is all you want now, use the advice above and apply to your situation. Click here to get a free mini e-course on how to save your relationship before you lose your partner forever.
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Is There Anything I Can Do to Save Your Marriage?

Wednesday, November 11th, 2009

To begin with, in a relationship, there are two people that are bounded, much more in marriage, and it takes both parties to face trials and save the marriage.

If you and your husband/wife are very much concerned unto saving your marriage, then probably getting marital counseling will do you a fairly good favor. If you cannot afford having professional help, there are four ways you can do to be able to save your marriage?

- Too much expectation.

Expecting too much will give you trouble, not really because you are asking for it, but because having high expectations and then discovering that your expectations are not met, you will be saddened deeply. Nobody’s perfect, you and your spouse are part of the category. Do not go into marriage if you are not interested to work all your dissimilarities to have a successful marriage.

- The unbeatable communication skills.

It is so imperative to having a good marriage and it is not all about the talking, but also the listening. You have to have the capability to listen to attempt to see things from your partner’s point of view. And to talk to air out what you want to be heard and understood.

- The art to compromise.

Grasping onto your other half and matrimony will, at times, mean making an alteration in what you believe is right or wrong. The need to feel to prove a point or to not easily give in the way of couples continuing a happy marriage. Always be eager to find a middle ground and reconcile any differences by mutual conceding.

- Commitment

You have to understand that marriage requires 100% of commitment. Committing means being bonded to courses of actions, sticking through it all even when things get lesser and lesser rosy as each day pass.

For marriage to succeed, you ought to not go into marriage with irrational expectations. You to talk honestly, and listen actively to what your partner have to say. Compromising to not always be right and most significantly to understand that it is a huge commitment on the part of both parties.

How to save marriage

Is it possible to save your marriage? Discover the 3 most common mistakes
you must absolutely avoid when you are trying to save your marriage.

How to save relationship

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