abuser himself. Listen to his life story and how God gave him wonderful insight into the healing process. You can get self-help material from Dr. Hegstrom’s website: www.lifeskillsintl.org/store.html Dr. Hegstrom believes more than 90% of marriage relationship problems are linked to childhood wounds. But he doesn’t stop there, because healing is available in a very practical way. … “Dr. Paul Hegstrom” “angry men” “childhood abuse” “sexual abuse” “emotional abuse” “marriage problems” …
Posts Tagged ‘Marriage Problems’
Dr. Paul Hegstrom (Part 3 of 3) talking about childhood abuse and the healing process
Saturday, January 2nd, 2010Dr. Paul Hegstrom (Part 1 of 3) talks about childhood wounds, anger, and healing
Wednesday, December 30th, 2009www.lifeskillsintl.org/store.html Dr. Hegstrom is also the author of “Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them”, as well as other books and DVD teaching material on this important subject. Dr. Hegstrom believes more than 90% of marriage relationship problems are linked and/or caused by childhood wounds. EYE OPENING, to say the least. Even if you aren’t “religious”, you can greatly benefit from this. … “Dr. Paul Hegstrom” “childhood abuse” “childhood wounds” “sexual abuse” “emotional abuse” …
Are You Complacent And Ignoring These Common Signs of Marriage Problems?
Saturday, December 26th, 2009All couples go through difficult times, when outside pressures just get the better of them and things start to go badly at home, and they aren’t necessarily signs of problems in the marriage. Financial stresses, family pressures, crazy schedules and career obligations can all cause strain on any relationship. So how can you tell if these problems are typical, or indeed are early warning signals of marriage problems that might be cause for concern?
Let’s look at these common signs of marriage and relationship issues:
a) Complacency
Many marriage counselors agree that one of the first warning signs of potential problems in a marriage is complacency. Taking each other for granted, neglecting to spend time together, or forgetting to say “I love you”? can all be signs of marriage problems that can lead to a much larger crisis.
b) Decreased physical intimacy
If your previously passionate love life has taken a turn for the worse, this could be another sign of a marriage problem. Of course, life events like having children, moving, changing jobs, or medical problems call all take it’s toll on a couple’s sex drive, and doesn’t necessary equate to marriage problems. However, if the trend continues for more than a couple of months, it could mean a sign of a marriage problem that needs to be addressed.
c) Avoiding conflict
In an effort to avoid a fight, some partners will avoid conflict altogether. While this may seem like a healthy reaction, in reality it only causes the underlying problem to fester. It can also lead to an explosion of bottled emotion once it finally comes out. Avoiding potential issues can be a signal of problems in a marriage.
d) Need to win
When one partner feels that they need to win every argument, you have a sure sign of a marriage issue or marriage problem. Marriage is a partnership, and requires teamwork. There should be no winning and losing in a marriage, only cooperation and working toward shared goals. If you aren’t doing this, you may be showing signs of problems in your marriage.
e) Considering an affair
If one or both of you are considering, even half-heartedly, having an affair, you are showing signs of problems in your marriage. Have an honest discussion with your partner about what is missing in your relationship, and work out some ways to rekindle the romance and stop signs of marriage trouble before they start. The long-term damage to your relationship caused by an extra-marital affair can be devastating. So think long and hard before you go down that road.
f) Separate vacations, separate lives
If you find you and your spouse making plans without each other, whether it’s separate vacations, hobbies that keep you occupied outside the house, or even separate bank accounts, you might be exhibiting signs of marriage issues or problems. It shows you could be drifting apart without both parties realizing. Remember that you are a couple, and that comes first, and you can nip these signs of marriage problems in the bud.
Put an End to the Stress and Anxiety of Not Knowing What to Do to Save Your Troubled Marriage! Get proven marriage tips and advice today.
http://www.ways-to-save-a-marriage.info/articles
Find articles about free site builder
http://www.ways-to-save-a-marriage.info/articles
Find articles about free site builder
Marriage Problems That Can Easiy Poison your Relationship
Saturday, December 26th, 2009Marriage problems can creep into any marriage. These problems must be dealt with quickly otherwise they will poison your relationship. As there are some problems which can be very disastrous to a marriage it is best to make sure that such problems are uprooted quickly.
Some of the marriage problems which are found in a marriage can be a couple’s incompatibility. At other times infidelity is a prime example of martial disasters. These are problems which need to be handled with care. Otherwise the entire marriage can crumble into an acrimonious divorce. In the case of incompatibility the couple may need to find some common interests.
They can also try to find how their differences can complement their marriage. When these alternatives don’t work they can seek to end their relationship. If they have tried many solutions but remain good friends the parting of the couple can be amicable. Otherwise the divorce can become very messy.
With marriage problems like infidelity the matter needs to be answered quite differently. This is due to the nature of each partner. There are some couples who might have decided that marital infidelity can be forgiven once. The second time around a divorce is the only solution. At these instances the reason for the infidelity may need to be found.
If there is no hope for the marriage problems that have resulted from infidelity to be resolved a painless divorce could be the saving of the couple. These are some of the common marriage problems. There are however more serious marriage problems that necessitates the need for divorce.
These problems involve spousal abuse. The abuse that results from a disastrous marriage like this, can lead to the victim being scared for their life and other family members. This abuse will also contribute towards the spouse having an unbalanced view of life. For these simple yet complex reasons the only hope for the victim of spousal abuse is the quick ending of the relationship
When a couple encounters marriage problems they have many options open to them. Based on these options the couple’s marriage will either last or break up. To make sure –no matter what conclusion is reached – that the marriage does not turn ugly, the partners of the marriage will need to seek help from a trained marriage counselor. This individual can help mediate the differences that are found between the couple.
This mediation is the key to a couple being able to live a happy life. Even if they are no longer a couple. With the help of marriage counselors marriage problems can be reduced to their proper proportions. Life can then begin anew.
Muna wa Wanjiru is a web administrator and has been researching and reporting on internet marketing for years. For more information on marriage problems, visit his site at MARRIAGE PROBLEMS
Get free information about site builder
Get free information about site builder
Can You Define the Root Cause of Your Marriage Problems?
Saturday, December 26th, 2009OK, so you know you have marriage problems, or believe that you do but can you actually define what the root cause of your marriage problems actually is? You might believe that your marital issues are so great that you can’t reconcile your differences but if you can’t actually identify the true problem how do you actually know?
You’re talking about a life long commitment here. How can you even consider throwing your marriage on the scrap heap if you can’t even define what your marriage problems are? And I’m not talking about all the petty little issues that you are trying to pin the problem on, I’m talking about the real marriage problems, the ones that started the wedge between you and are continuing to drive you apart.
If you can’t define the problems you have no chance of resolving them. You need to put some effort in here, it might seem like too much of a chore and a waste of your time but I can assure you that actually identifying what your true marriage problems / problem are, is time well spent.
Let me ask you one question, what is one of the best ways to learn? Most people will find that they learn by experience, by making their own mistakes and learning from them. Apply this to your marriage problems and you’ll see that it’s well worth understanding what’s going on here. Understand what your marriage problems are, I mean really understand, and you’ll have something to work with and learn from. If you know what you need to fix it’s so much easier to fix it, this applies to marriage as much as it does to any other problems you have in life.
If you don’t do something now the likelihood is that you’ll live to regret it. What if you knew that just defining your marriage problems means that you have a strong chance of sorting your marriage out? Wouldn’t that one piece of knowledge make you want to take action?
If you are reading this you are already searching for a solution and have probably already realised, like most things in life, there is no magic cure to marriage problems, but there is a systematic approach that can be applied to understand and resolve most marital issues, with understanding the root cause being the first step to getting your marriage back on track.
Just take some time to think about your marriage problems:
If the intimacy is gone, where has it gone? It’s not enough to know it’s happened you need to understand why?
If you no longer have anything in common, why? What did you used to do? When did things change? Why did things change?
If you are continually arguing, when did it start? Why did it start? What changed?
If one of you has had an affair, why did it happen? I’m not talking about the affair itself I’m talking about what was going on in your marriage before the affair started. Be totally honest here, were there problems with the marriage before the affair started? What were the problems?
This is just a small example of the kind of questions you need to ask yourself, obviously the type of questions are dependent on the marriage problems you need to address but I think by now you are starting to understand the basic fact that if you want to resolve your marriage problems and save your marriage you need to identify and understand what your marriage problems actually are.
Detailed information about site builder
Is Boredom a Common Marriage Problem That Should Make You Jump Ship?
Friday, December 25th, 2009Don’t you find that people can fall out over some of the stupidest things in life? Common marriage problems can be just the same, if only couples could step back and see their marriage problems from the outside they would often realise that they really don’t have a serious problem at all.
One common marriage problem that regularly pops up is ‘I’m bored’. OK, so you’re bored does that mean you should jump ship or take positive action? So you want to jump ship? Why? What’s making you bored? Why are you bored now and not at the start? It’s common for people to get cold feet after a while, especially when the honeymoon period is over and you have to get on with living but do you honestly want to spend your life running from marriage problems, continually chasing the next honeymoon period which will come to an end just like the last one?
There are very few common marriage problems that, with a little effort, can’t be fixed and boredom is no different. Separation isn’t the only, nor often the best answer to marital boredom. Quite often boredom isn’t about the marriage it’s about you!
People are different and opposites attract so it’s common for couples to have different desires and aspirations but running isn’t generally the answer. How many people do you see jumping from one job to another and one marriage to another without ever achieving what they set out to achieve. Boredom is a common problem, not just in marriage but in life generally. Marriage problems, work problems, it doesn’t matter if you don’t know what you are looking for you’ll never achieve it.
Boredom can’t be resolved by running, searching for something you never find and probably doesn’t actually exist. If you want a life that isn’t boring then you need to understand what you want and work towards achieving it. Is it really the marriage that’s the problem? It’s common for boredom to be driven from the way you perceive your marriage and treat your marriage not from what your marriage actually is. Most of us can achieve our goal’s married or unmarried, if you really love your partner but also want to change your life you’ll find a way to achieve your dreams without throwing away your love.
Marriage is a partnership that needs to be worked at, it’s not always easy but then if it was wouldn’t life be boring!! Boredom is like all common marriage problems, you can take what seems to be the easy way out, which many people live to regret, or you can take the positive, proactive, more fulfilling approach to marriage problems and end up with a marriage that truly is like the joining of two halves.
Boredom is a state of mind and how you resolve it is down to you but before ripping your marriage apart I urge you to consider what you decide to do next very carefully. Marriage shouldn’t be seen as a chain around your neck. Like many common marriage problems marriage is seen as the catalyst for boredom without really considering the driving cause. Marriage doesn’t need to be boring, your marriage doesn’t need to be boring but whether or not you heed my advice and take a positive approach to your marriage problems is down to you.
Detailed information about online site builder
Your Marital Problems Could Be Ruining Your Health
Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009Keeping things bottled up inside may not be good for your health. You’ve heard the saying, “I need to get this off my chest”. Well, the results are in and the studies show that people in healthy, open communication relationships do generally tend to have better health.
It seems that there is a definite connection between the state of your health and your relationship. If you are having communication problems in your relationship, now might be the time to learn how to develop a better line of communication with your partner. Your health may very well depend on it.
If you feel that the communication problems in your relationship are the fault of your partner and that you are listening and responding properly then you might want to re-evaluate things and look at it from a different perspective.
Maybe it isn’t entirely your partners fault. Sometimes it’s easy to see blame somewhere else when making a few changes about how you approach a discussion or disagreement could make all of the difference.
First, it’s important to make sure to keep yourself level headed and not let anger or emotions control the discussion. Keep things simple and focus on the problem at hand. It’s best to only bring up things in a manner which are not argumentative and that means not getting carried away with what you think or believe but what you know. Something that is a fact and can not be disputed. This way to you get right to the root of the problem and hopefully reach a mutually agreeable solution.
Second, make sure that you are actually listening to your partner. Too often, we become closed minded when we believe we are in the right. We are all individuals and as a result we all may see the exact same situation through different eyes and interpret things differently. Try and understand their point of view and look for areas that you can agree upon before moving to areas where there is disagreement. Even then, keep things level headed. The object of the discussion is to resolve the issue in a way where both parties feel that they’ve been involved in creating the solution; it’s not about proving who is right and who is wrong. There are no winners in those scenarios.
Third, reaching a mutually agreeable solution often involves give and take. Are you asking for things from your partner without offering anything in return? Even in business, it’s only when both parties feel they’ve walked away with something of equal value as what they’ve given does it feel like a positive transaction.
In conclusion, while it takes two parties to communicate effectively, it only takes one to get the process started off on a positive direction. You’ve heard the saying, “don’t fan the fire”. The same thing applies here. It may take some time if your partner is used to being in a combatant or defensive position during these discussions or arguments but it truly does take two to argue and with you taking the lead in having construction communication, they will follow your lead eventually.
This way you will get to have your say and “get things off your chest” while doing so in a way that can bring the two of you closer and move your relationship forward while helping to preserve your health in the process.
Check out “Save My Marriage Todays” answers to your marriage problems. It covers an extensive range of marriage issues, offers a range of insightful perspectives, and tells you exactly where you are going wrong in your marriage and what effective actions you can take to make it better.
Save My Marriage Today Review
Find information on site builder
Warning Signs Your Marriage May Be Heading for Divorce Court
Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009It’s easy to settle into a routine within your marriage. You get up, go to work, come home and then start the cycle over again the next day. You might not even be aware that there are troubles in your marriage. I mean, everything is going along exactly as it always as, right?
The trouble is that it is not uncommon for one spouse to be completely blindsided when they are served with papers for divorce. They just had absolutely no clue that their spouse was unhappy or maybe the signs were there but they just didn’t know what to watch for so they missed them.
Here are some signs that there may be problems in your relationship along with a little advice you can use to reconnect before it’s too late.
You never have meaningful conversations.
A good morning here, a kiss on the cheek there, maybe a little joking around now and again but if you find that you and your spouse aren’t connecting on a deeper, more intimate level then this could be leading to trouble.
What can you do about it?
Remember when the two of you would hold hands and go on a nice walk through the park, spend the day at the zoo or just sit at the beach and talk about anything and everything? This probably has a lot of what made the two of you fall in love in the first place. You knew everything about them, how they felt, what they wanted out of life, everything. It’s time to grab your partner by their hand and go for a nice long walk. Open up and encourage them to do the same. Don’t allow yourself to get caught up in the day to day grind while just taking everything for granted. Make the time to reconnect and fall in love over and over again.
Your partner shares their milestones with someone else.
There was probably a time when you were the first person they called to share the good news with when they got a raise, a promotion or even just a great parking space. Does it seem like you are now receiving news, good and bad, second or even third hand from her family members, friends or co-workers? If you are no longer the “go to” person then this is a sign that there has been a significant communication breakdown.
What can you do about it?
The next time you get some news, whether it is first or third hand, make that the most important thing of your day. If it’s good news, get excited, take them out to celebrate. Let them know how happy and proud you are of them. I’m sure at one point you did that anyway without having to be reminded. If the news is bad, be there for them. It is more important than the ball game on TV or the dinner in the oven. Those are the times when your spouse really does need you the most and you need to make sure you’re the one there to be their emotional support system.
In conclusion: There is nothing really new or eye opening here. It’s just what may be referred to in the business world as “getting back to basics”. Look back at the way things were when you were falling in love together and start falling in love all over again.
Check out “Save My Marriage Todays” answers to your marriage problems. It covers an extensive range of marriage issues, offers a range of insightful perspectives, and tells you exactly where you are going wrong in your marriage and what effective actions you can take to make it better.
Save My Marriage Today Review
Find articles on site builder
A Healthy Marriage Is One In Which You Keep The Right Balance – Here’s How..
Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009Anyone who really cares about their family life wants to maintain a healthy marriage – for the whole of their lives. It is often a matter of setting the right priorities so we can keep a sensible balance, that allows us to be the good spouse, or partner, we want to be.
Sometimes it’s not always as simple as it first appears, and we have to focus on some issues which, at first glance, seem obvious but just get ‘lost’.
It can be all too easy to forget that essential need to cultivate your relationship. Sometimes taking your partner for granted is very easy to do, but it’s also easy to avoid – if you know how. To maintain a healthy marriage requires you to do some fundamental things. Here is just a few of them:
Take time to make time – for each other. Make time for your conversations, and in a place which is free from other distractions. The television can be a big distraction so try turning it off so you can develop a real conversation with your partner. There are lots of things you can do… maybe order yourselves a healthy takeaway so you can have a pleasant dinner with each other regularly. To make conversation more enjoyable get into the habit of sitting at a table too… because it makes it so much easier to converse properly than eating in an armchair!
Communicate effectively. The most important key to building a strong healthy relationship is communication. Effective communication requires you to be an ?active listener?, and that means listening without making up your mind, beforehand, on the outcome. Focus on what your partner is saying ?as well as expressing your own feelings in a constructive, honest and fair way.
Whatever you do, avoid being dismissive, ridiculing or rejecting your partner for what he, or she, may be saying. If you’re feeling frustrated, and sense that you are getting angry, take a ?time-out’, and agree to resume your conversation later.
Always play fair. Don?t expect to see eye to eye on everything because it just won?t happen. An important part of resolving conflicts is being respectful of your partner?s feelings, even when you are arguing. Even if you don’t always agree on things you’re discussing, let your partner know that you value what he, or she, is saying.
If you ever feel that you’re ‘losing it’ and that you may physically harm your partner, give yourself some breathing space by walking away. If necessary seek some help and guidance straight away. You may invite a lot of trouble not to do so. Even though your temper may be getting frayed, step back and count to ten, or maybe even higher. It may stop you from doing something you might regret later.
Too summarize: remember to keep a smile on your face and take time out to smell the roses with each other. Work on communicating well; avoid being too critical, don?t ridicule and don?t reject or dismiss your partner out of hand. Just treat him, or her the way you want to be treated. With a large measure of dignity, fairness, respect. That way you will keep your sanity and have a lot more fun with each other!
A <a href="http://www.relationship-secrets.com” rel=”nofollow”>healthy marriage, or partnership, is something you need to work at. Why not try this site for some other great ideas to keep you on track… http://www.relationship-secrets.com
Find articles on web site builder
Find articles on web site builder
There Are Marriage Secrets All Couples Should Know About! This Is Where You Can Find Them..
Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009Are there loads of marriage secrets out there to be found and acted upon, so we can all have the perfect relationship? If so, and there is one ’secret’ which stands out above all the others, can someone please inform us what it is?
What a lot of couples strive for, once that ?honeymoon? period is over, is to find the secret, or secrets, that will help them to stay together – forever. The reality is this; there is only one marriage ?secret? – but more on that shortly!
However, there are some vital things that can make all the difference to helping you grow your lives together in (near) perfect harmony. All it takes is to be focused on the elements that matter most ? and they?re worth much more than money, or what money can buy!
Let’s look more closely at a few of the things that matter most:
Commitment. It?s vital that you always work on being committed to your relationship. It should be the most important priority you have. A relationship is something you have to work at and it needs consideration, coupled with effort, if it is to blossom and mature. Just as a beautiful flower needs care and attention to stop it from wilting and dying, so do we in our relationships!
Everyone is busy these days, but make time to spend quality time with each other, whenever you can. For example, if both of you go out to work, try booking special times in your schedule to do things with each other you both enjoy. Perhaps you could have a meal at home together where you can relax and enjoy each other’s company, or you could find a restaurant you both like and eat out.
If you can do that at least once a week you will both benefit from the chance to communicate and reinforce your commitment to each other. Remember that ?money? can?t buy commitment, but making some space for ?quality time? can go a long way to showing your spouse that you are committed to him, or her, which is a lot more valuable.
Also, remember to celebrate each other?s achievements too, and support each other, especially if one of you is having a tougher time than usual. Support of your partner in tough situations is vital, so try and be empathetic. Just being there when you’re needed will be so much appreciated by your partner – much more than you realize.
Another key ingredient is… romance. Romance is good for both of you, so keep it alive! All relationships generally start out by being ‘romantic’ in the early days but, as the time goes by, it’s possible to be distracted by the myriad of other things; work, children, paying bills, looking after the house to name just a few.
Don?t take each other for granted. Make your partner feel exclusive by doing something passionate, no matter how small. Perhaps you could, when you have the time, make your partner breakfast and serve it to them whilst they’re in bed. Alternatively, make a date for a special night out, or take a walk somewhere you both like, or organize a picnic. Something that keeps the spark of romance alight for you both.
And what about that marriage secret I mentioned at the beginning? just what is it? Well, it?s so simple; there is NO marriage secret, as such, but being committed to each other is as close as you can come to the secret.
But your marriage can last forever, if you just pay attention to being committed and keeping the romance alive by showing how much you care and love your partner! And that?s so much more valuable than all the money in the world isn?t it!
Remember the <a href="http://www.relationship-secrets.com” rel=”nofollow”>marriage secret to be most aware of is to be as committed to your partner as you can be. Romance is also so important; talking of which, this site is probably well worth a look => http://www.relationship-secrets.com … it has some fascinating ideas that you should find interesting and useful in your quest 
free information about site builder
free information about site builder
