Anyone who really cares about their family life wants to maintain a healthy marriage – for the whole of their lives. It is often a matter of setting the right priorities so we can keep a sensible balance, that allows us to be the good spouse, or partner, we want to be.
Sometimes it’s not always as simple as it first appears, and we have to focus on some issues which, at first glance, seem obvious but just get ‘lost’.
It can be all too easy to forget that essential need to cultivate your relationship. Sometimes taking your partner for granted is very easy to do, but it’s also easy to avoid – if you know how. To maintain a healthy marriage requires you to do some fundamental things. Here is just a few of them:
Take time to make time – for each other. Make time for your conversations, and in a place which is free from other distractions. The television can be a big distraction so try turning it off so you can develop a real conversation with your partner. There are lots of things you can do… maybe order yourselves a healthy takeaway so you can have a pleasant dinner with each other regularly. To make conversation more enjoyable get into the habit of sitting at a table too… because it makes it so much easier to converse properly than eating in an armchair!
Communicate effectively. The most important key to building a strong healthy relationship is communication. Effective communication requires you to be an ?active listener?, and that means listening without making up your mind, beforehand, on the outcome. Focus on what your partner is saying ?as well as expressing your own feelings in a constructive, honest and fair way.
Whatever you do, avoid being dismissive, ridiculing or rejecting your partner for what he, or she, may be saying. If you’re feeling frustrated, and sense that you are getting angry, take a ?time-out’, and agree to resume your conversation later.
Always play fair. Don?t expect to see eye to eye on everything because it just won?t happen. An important part of resolving conflicts is being respectful of your partner?s feelings, even when you are arguing. Even if you don’t always agree on things you’re discussing, let your partner know that you value what he, or she, is saying.
If you ever feel that you’re ‘losing it’ and that you may physically harm your partner, give yourself some breathing space by walking away. If necessary seek some help and guidance straight away. You may invite a lot of trouble not to do so. Even though your temper may be getting frayed, step back and count to ten, or maybe even higher. It may stop you from doing something you might regret later.
Too summarize: remember to keep a smile on your face and take time out to smell the roses with each other. Work on communicating well; avoid being too critical, don?t ridicule and don?t reject or dismiss your partner out of hand. Just treat him, or her the way you want to be treated. With a large measure of dignity, fairness, respect. That way you will keep your sanity and have a lot more fun with each other!
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