Posts Tagged ‘Happy Marriage’

“Secrets Of Blissful Relationships“ Save Your Marriage With Romantic Rituals

Friday, November 20th, 2009

Save Your Marriage With Romantic Rituals

Justin Case http://magicofmakingupworks.com is happy to bring you another great article on how to save your marriage.

Are you trapped in a boring marriage? You can save your marriage from the deadly sin of boredom with just a little bit of effort. Not a lot, just a little.

What rituals have you established in your marriage to keep it young and fresh and exciting?

None? For shame on you. I know it is easy to fall into the rut of mediocrity in our relationships. Shame on us. This is the one place mediocrity has no place. We started these relationships because they were exciting and made us feel like a million bucks. (Hopefully that is not all green and wrinkled.) We have a duty to ourselves and our spouses to maintain an aura of excitement.

Rituals will keep you looking forward with anticipation for the next event, wondering what is going to happen, this time. It can be like Christmas, every time.

Do you suppose if rituals were initiated in your relationship things just might get spiced up a bit? Do you think perhaps a bit of old flame could be reignited in your love life?

How would you feel if your spouse started to make you feel like the most important part of their life? Do you think they would feel about the same way? If so, maybe you can explore a couple of things to pull the mold from the old jelly bottle and make for a more appetizing spread.

Call your spouse on the way to work right after you leave just tell them you miss them alreadyPut a love note under the pillow to found when they make the bedLeave a sexy note in the shower asking for save water date that nightMeet your spouse at a little cozy eatery for lunch once a week, same time same place, same stationGive you lover a jingle during the mid morning and mid afternoon to just say Hi. Establish a habit of one date a week. Dinner and move doesn’t count on this one. BORING! Go ice skating or go swinging (No, not that kind.) in the park. You get the ideaOne night a month hire a baby sitter if you need one. Find a nice club with nice music and dancing. End up in as nice a hotel as you can afford. Order room service in the morning.

When was the last time you kissed our spouse like when you dated? Been a while? Why not surprise them and do it again, often. Like every time you get home from work. Try it on for size when you meet in the hall way, going or coming.

How about a real nice secure hug from behind when your spouse is not looking? Don’t to forget to whisper how much love and appreciate them, and mean it for a change.

These kinds of rituals will go long way to putting some jazz into any marriage or relationship. Everyone wants to feel wanted and needed. Do your part and they will most certainly do theirs. And it will not take weeks or months to see a difference around the old homestead.

Think outside of the box. There are many more ideas for adding excitement for a more blissful relationship. Put for a little bit of effort now to save your marriage from the this deadly sin and it just might keep you out of the divorce courts.

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Marriage Counseling Won’t Work – if Your Family Told You They Didn’t Like Your Spouse

Friday, November 20th, 2009

I have no idea how many age old dilemmas exist, but I’m sure there’s a mountain of them. One of those ugly dilemmas is when you are married to someone your family says they don’t like. Honestly, my heart goes out to you, because if you let it, you will be caught in a push-pull situation that never ends. You love your family and their opinion matters but they are critical of the person you married. The laws of loyalty, which are spiritual in nature, can guide you to do the right thing. Marriage counseling won’t work in this situation because the study of spiritual laws is not part of western psychological training. A marriage counselor will not ultimately rely on principles other than ones that make you think you feel better. It is not that they discount spiritual principles; they just don’t recognize them. Yet in situations like this, spiritual principles will give you all of the help you will ever need.

Loyalty Is The Highest Law

The first question that comes to mind is to whom you owe your highest loyalty. The simple answer is your spouse. The graciousness of your parents bringing you into this world and caring for you is a gift without comparison. But it is a gift that does not command an eternal debt. They knew what they were getting into (OK, maybe not completely) when they chose to have children and it includes letting go of you in stages as you become an adult. The final stage of letting go of their control over you happens when you get married. At that time you become the new foundation for future generations. Your loyalty is to your spouse first and secondly to your children.

Be a Peacemaker

Part of the obligation you have to your spouse is to be supportive at all times and in all situations. When you have any evil thought or utter an evil word about your spouse you are being disloyal. The very easy test that you could administer to yourself as to whether you are being disloyal or not is to simply ask yourself, “If my spouse heard what I am about to say would it hurt his/her feelings?” If there is any chance it would hurt their feelings, silence is the rule. I bring this point up because the chances of your family not liking your spouse due to their own interactions are slim, unless you provided further ammunition to them. So your mission is to heal the rifts that exist between your family and your spouse to the best of your ability.

Here are 4 things you can do that will help:

Although there are cases for which the above may not apply, in most cases that I have come across the above is right on. Don’t trade off your family for your pride. Be the best spouse who ever lived and tell your lover, “I love you.”

Paul Friedman’s entry into the business of helping couples mend their marriages began with a very rough personal experience with divorce. Paul came out of an early retirement to become a mediator. His belief was that couples could easily work out the details of separation and get on with their lives. He discovered the truth from his clients:they only sought divorce because the help they found to stay together didn’t work.
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Saving a Marriage is Easier Without a Marriage

Wednesday, November 18th, 2009

Most people think saving a marriage is a pretty complex affair, but it isn’t. Imagine if somebody gave you the keys to a car before you ever learned to drive. That’s what it was like for you and most people when you got married. People just expect you to know what to do. Isn’t that amazing, in a world where we have manuals for virtually everything, and we spend years learning how to do simple math and English, everyone just goes ahead and gets married without any real education. The divorce statistics are a pretty good indicator of how stupid we are as a people when it comes to educating ourselves about marriage. To make matters worse when things start going bad we turn to people who are educated way beyond their intelligence, the western psychologists.

An MBA from Harvard wouldn’t pretend he knows how to start and run a company just because he was educated. A Harvard MBA is smart enough to rely on tried and true executives for his or her final education. The tried and true executive would be a proven commodity because of the results of previous business endeavors. The incompetents who call themselves marriage counselors have such a dismal record of saving marriages they would be laughed out of their roles if they were in any other business. Imagine an appliance repairman telling you he thinks he could help you but so far he has only helped fix about 10% of the appliances he’s been asked to repair. No one in their right mind would call that guy again. The psychologists are able to hide behind all sorts of excuses for not being able to help married couples save their marriages; it’s horrible.

If you’re still thinking of calling a marriage counselor here are some questions you should ask them:

I can assure you when you place your call to a marriage counselor and ask the above questions you will hear more hemming and hawing than you have ever heard in your life. So let me give you a head start. Obviously I can’t get into much detail in one little article, but hopefully you will see there is more than just a little hope for your marriage.

There actually are answers to the above questions, all of them:

I don’t want to challenge you to call a marriage counselor because you’ll only waste your money if you see one, but by all means suit yourself. Just be careful. If they knew what they were doing we wouldn’t have the divorce rate we have in our country. On the other hand don’t waste too much time looking around. You deserve to have a happy marriage right now, you really do.

Paul Friedman’s entry into the business of helping couples mend their marriages began with a very rough personal experience with divorce. Paul came out of an early retirement to become a mediator. His belief was that couples could easily work out the details of separation and get on with their lives. He discovered the truth from his clients:they only sought divorce because the help they found to stay together didn’t work.
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The Three Keys to Handling Martial Problems

Sunday, November 15th, 2009

My husband and I have been married for over twelve years now. We’ve been through a great deal since we got married, both personally and as a couple. We’ve had deaths and serious illness in the family, financial stress, we now have a child, and we started our own business together from scratch.

From the beginning of our marriage, we realized that there is much more that holds together a marriage than love. Love is wonderful, but without some basic skills, it is simply not enough.

Fortunately, we found some wonderful teachers along the way. They taught us invaluable things about building a great marriage and handling marital problems. With these tools, I know that we would not be the happy couple with a powerful partnership that we are today.

Here are three key things that we use consistently to handle problems when they arise and to keep our marriage strong.

Key to Handling Marital Problems #1: Get Some Distance from A Major Problem – This is vital. When we’ve got a bee in our bonnets about an issue, we’re irrational, negative, and destructive. It is so incredibly easy to get down upon one’s spouse. Having opened up a medical clinic with my husband, I understand what it is like to struggle to produce results when having to work with a spouse.

However, from this experience, I learned a great deal. There were times when I was frustrated, angry, and nervous about things at the office. The easiest thing to do during those times was to distract myself from my troubles by focusing upon something that my husband did, or did not do, that was upsetting. Then, I’d spend a lot of time thinking about it. It was a great technique for not focusing on what was really bothering me, but it wasn’t at all healthy. It hurt our relationship and it allowed me to ignore what the problem really was.

Now, if my husband or I find ourselves complaining about one another, we take that as a clue to stop and look elsewhere. Usually, we’ll find some other problem that we are really upset about. When we take concerted and concentrated action in that area, the problem with our spouse that seemed so pressing just hours before, melts away.

The worst thing that we can do is focus upon some trait or fault in our spouse. Face it, we’re all egotistical, selfish, callous, and arrogant to a certain degree. That’s just part of being human. The important thing is to bring out the best in one another. We can do that by concentrating on the real problem rather than aiming our emotions at our spouse.

Key to Handling Marital Problems #2: Get Professional Help – A great marriage counselor or a book on marriage that you both like can do wonders to help heal a marriage. If you decide to get a marriage counselor, don’t settle for just anyone. Pick someone that you both respect and trust. Also, if the counselor chooses sides, as you may want him or her to do, run, don’t walk, to the nearest exit. You don’t need any help blaming each other. You can do that on your own, for free. Choose someone who will help you come together and understand one another more.

Key to Handling Marital Problems #3: Stop Blaming Things on Your Marriage – This is a great piece of advice. One of the people that we learned the most from about marriage told us not to rely on our marriage for our happiness. Marriages can not give people happiness. That’s too much to demand from a marriage.

Instead, each spouse can take on being responsible for his or her own happiness. This is a really powerful tool. Too often, marriages can get blamed for a person’s unhappiness, frustration, and the inability to move forward. All of those things can be erased by taking on one’s own life.

The best thing to do for this is to ask yourself, “What can I do to make my life better?” Once you’re used to thinking this way, ask, “How can I add to the quality of my marriage?”

Make your marriage happy. Don’t expect it to make you happy.

Good luck!

Dr. Isabella Santorini used to have a marriage that was fine, but it certainly wasn’t fantastic. She learned about creating a great marriage from a master at marriage. Since then, her relationship with her husband has flowered into a powerful partnership. Learn from the person who taught Dr. Isabella: http://mbguevara.savemarria.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=SMM07
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“Help Me Save My Marriage” Choose To Be In Love

Sunday, November 15th, 2009

Some wonderful thoughts about how you can be in love and save your marriage.

 

Some folks consider romantic love to be the cherry on top of the whipped cream of marriage. Pure dressing. It looks nice but it is not necessary. However, this author holds romantic love to be the crme de la crme of marriages. It not only looks good, it tastes good and it is necessary to have a thriving and robust marriage.

 

Despite the fact of what some well thinking folks may claim, I believe they inwardly desire for themselves the thrills of a romantic relationship.  Romantic love implies being in love.

 

What sane person would not want and long for a marriage filled with such amazing sensations?

 

People in love feel energized and confident. They feel like taking on the world and conquering it. People in love know and feel they are loved. People in love walk on clouds with a spring in their step.

 

If your’s is not a romantic marriage, don’t you envision being met at the door with sweet kisses while being held in strong loving arms and smiling eyes eager to consume you. Don’t you desire to be wanted so much you are missed before you leave? Does this not fill you with anticipation of returning home at the earliest possible moment? What person would think for one minute to delay their homecoming with such sweet bliss awaiting them?

 

Romantic love is great medicine for ridding maladies such as low self image and anxieties. This kind of love brings out our best. It makes us want to be our best, to become the best we can be. It is constructive in every sense of the word.

 

If your marriage in trouble it just might be missing romantic love. If it had romantic love in the beginning, where did it go? Why is it not here now? What has changed? Go back and find it now, where it is, whatever the cost. Put life back into yourself and your marriage.

 

Look at your spouse like you have not seen them months every time you look at them. Hold them like you will never let them go. Kiss them like you have been gone forever. Whisper you love them in their ear as you use to, and mean it.

 

Commitment to a person or the relationship does not equal giving this gift to your spouse every time you see them. Do you think they will not appreciate it? Do you think will think you daft when you do it the first time and second time and the third time? Probably. Do you think they will love you for it? They will.

 

And you know what the best part is, it will not be long until they are giving it all back to you many times over.

 

Don’t just exist in your marriage. Please. Please. Please. Do not just settle for what is. Do not  fall into the trap of dull and drab and mundane that contentment and mediocrity brings.

 

Save your marriage. Save your spouse. Save yourself. Try it. You will like it. I promise.

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Marriage Advice: What You Need to Build up a Good Relationship

Friday, November 6th, 2009

Quirks are one among the major problems in marriage. This is very common in a relationship. Most of the time, it is the cause of broken relationship to some who are not able to handle it well. This is why counseling is important.

In marriage counseling, pointers are revealed to help you with what you need in a relationship. You also need to be open minded in dealing with these problems. You must accept that problems are normal and will definitely require time to be solved. However, more than all of these, you may need to seek advises from professionals to help you wash out the problems you encounter in your married life.

Marriage advice is very essential in your life as part of a married couple. You must know how to handle your relationship well. However, you must choose the person or the people you should the advice. There are many people who give advices that will further worsen the present situation. You can get advises from friends, mentors and family members that you give your trust.

Marriage advice is also best from your parents who were together for a long period of time, as well as your grand parents who spend almost all their lives together. You must realize that these people have handled their relationship well. You should ask some pointers and tips in working out your relationship with your partner.

Of course not every marriage is successful. You must also take into considerations the relationships that never last. You should identify the following reasons of break ups and never repeat doing it on your relationship. It will make your relationship stronger being able to identify the possible causes of break up.

You can also get professional advice for books, journals and family building magazines. You can get as many advises as you want as long as you get it from reputable writer and professional counselor. These inspirational pieces will advice you different effective tips to work out your relationship with your partner. You can also get traditional marriage advices.

Online marriage advises is also available. Search engines are useful in this way. There are plenty of websites that can give you the advice you need. You only have to find the best one to effectively live a happy married life.

Another effective marriage advice is to have time for one another. No matter how busy your life gets always find time to communicate and spare quality time together. This will be a good way to pay off all the good things you partner have given you. This is also a good way to express your love feeling to one another. In fact, one among the huge piles of reasons of break ups is the inability to communicate. One might feel uninterested to the relationship if frequent communication lacks.

The major contributing factor to break ups is anger. You should know how to control your anger and you should also know when to show it. Problems can be so hard if you are tired or stressed out. You must regain perspectives to be able to handle things well. In fact it is you who will surfer if you do not know how to carry anger. This is one among the advices that you can get from reading inspirational book on marriage.

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Marriage Counseling – not Easy, But Sometimes Necessary

Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009

Though this is an uncomfortable, and potentially embarrassing, subject for many, the idea of marriage counseling should not be discarded just because it does not seem easy. It is not meant to be easy; it is meant to help you through difficult times. And, yes, I do admit that it is not a simple matter to talk about. Many will refuse to even try, simply because they believe it to be a source of embarrassment and an admission of failure. To them, I must plainly say: get over it.
That sounds harsh, I know, but this is a case where harsh words may be needed. Refusing to discuss marriage counseling simply because it has the potential to be awkward (well, more than the potential; this is pretty much guaranteed to be awkward) is a foolish way to think. If you are struggling with your marriage and neither you nor your spouse knows what to do, marriage counseling can be a great help. You should never have to simply suffer through a marriage or take the easy route to divorce and there are few problems that cannot be resolved with time and help. Giving up just because it seems easier is a waste; but just going through the motions of marriage and refusing to get help is even worse.
Marriage counseling requires commitment, not just to your spouse but to the healing process. No matter what you learn through marriage counseling, you still have to first be willing to go through with it. This is not a matter of one session will solve everything: it takes time, effort and determination. Some may find this too hard, too daunting, to even think about. They believe that simply giving up would be the best (i.e. easier) road to take. And, yes, it probably would be. It is a much simpler matter to throw everything away rather than examining what caused the problems in the first place. But, to those people, I can only stress that easier does not equal best in this situation.
Refusing to even try marriage counseling is the proverbial slap in the face to what you once had. Yes, I do realize that some problems are not fixable or, at least, not ones you would want to fix. There are some things that can break a marriage. But there are many problems, little things, that build over time. These may equal nothing by themselves but, together, become exaggerated and seemingly impossible. It is those problems that marriage counseling can help solve. You can go through a process that will sort out what is really wrong. Rather than just pushing everything to the back of your mind, you can face it, dissect it and eventually understand how to deal with it.
Why so many people believe that marriage counseling is difficult is easy to understand: it is difficult. This is not supposed to be easy; this is real life and, more importantly, the real effort of trying to fix your own marriage. Who would ever think that would be easy? But it is necessary and you should never just give up when you have this option left.
Please visit my website www.maryshawe.com to browse the resources I have gathered here for you and learn how they hold the secrets to turn your life around.If you’re particularly interested in marriage advice and counseling, then please click here to read more about “Secrets of Successful Marriage

Mary Shawe is the author of several books on marriage and relationships. Please visit her website to learn more.
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Marriage is for a Lifetime

Saturday, October 31st, 2009

As far as I know nobody has asked to change the vows one makes at the altar to something other than “until death do you part” The idea of marriage being a permanent relationship that lasts a lifetime is tremendously important. The children who come into this world through a family need the security of permanence. Yet the statistics demonstrate a society that does not know how to make marriage permanent. Of all the skills learned in schools none could be more important than the ‘how to live’ skills everyone needs in order to understand and cultivate deep meaningful relationships. Yet there are no skills taught in our schools that even come close to teaching people how to be married. Nearly everyone gets married, and over 50% of everyone who gets married gets a divorce. It is not out of a lack of trying.

You Don’t Need To Be a Statistic

If you buy a computer or even a washing machine a manual will come with the product. Could you imagine buying a new camera and not having a manual with it? It would be freak out city! You would even be afraid to turn it on. Yet people get married every single day without having any idea of where 95% of the switches are that influence their relationship. Have you ever had a perfect relationship in your life? Well, this is the one you want to be perfect and it can be. But you need a manual.

Here are 7 questions for you:

The principles of right behavior in marriage are universal. Learning the principles and how to apply them will make your marriage the most amazingly incredible experience of your life, as it is supposed to be.

You don’t have to take a risk that the anecdotes you have heard about being married or the advice your aunt gave you will work. Don’t leave your marriage to chance. Study marriage as if your life depends upon it. Don’t become one of my clients in five years because you couldn’t figure it out on your own.

If you are like most people you’ve put more effort into planning your wedding day than you have your marriage. Now you have an opportunity to protect the most important decision of your life. You can and must walk confidently down the aisle and pathway of life.

Paul Friedman’s entry into the business of helping couples mend their marriages began with a very rough personal experience with divorce. Paul came out of an early retirement to become a mediator. His belief was that couples could easily work out the details of separation and get on with their lives. He discovered the truth from his clients:they only sought divorce because the help they found to stay together didn’t work.
Read more relationship advice at Lessons For a Happy Marriage.com
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Tips to Save Your Marriage

Friday, October 30th, 2009

Marriage is an institution in which interpersonal relationships are acknowledged by the state or by religious authority. It is often viewed as a contract.

People marry for many reasons, but usually one or more of the following: legal, social, and economic stability; the formation of a family unit; procreation and the education and nurturing of children; legitimizing sexual relations; public declaration of love; or to obtain citizenship

 

It’s truly sad to hear of marriages in trouble. No body want trouble, but trouble does happen. You may ask your self “Can I save my marriage?” My answer is yes, why? Because when you ask yourself “Can I save my marriage?” means you do want to save your marriage. Because if don’t or never think of that question, there is no way you can save your marriage, but how? So I will give you tips on how to save your marriage.  These tips you and your spouse can apply today to start the healing process for your relationship and marriage.

1. More communication

Communication is important in our live, so it same to marriage. If you fail to communicate with your partner, it’s about time your marriage will over.  The most common cause to marriage breakdown is fail to communicate or miscommunication between spouses. When problems arise, people stop talking to each other. Simply put, a marriage cannot be saved if the couple can’t figure things out together. When a new problem appears, a married couple needs to talk more, not less.

2. Compromise

Compromise means you allow your love and respect for one another to have a higher priority than the matter at hand. Be the first to compromise and before you know it, you are half-way to save your marriage.

3. Make effort to show more love and affection

Many marriages break down simply because the individuals involved feel that they are not being loved or cared for. Regardless of the issue, couples must remember that feeling loved is important. This is almost a deliberate separation of the issue or problem from the love they have for one another.

4.      Forgiveness

Forgiveness is important in relationship including marriage. Try to forgive and forget. Everybody make mistake. Give changes to your partner. Forgiveness is power full but difficult, that why it’s powerful. With love, compromise and communication, it is easier to forgive and forget.  

If ever, you are asking the question “Can I save my marriage”, try to apply these 4 tips into your situation. You will be pleasantly surprised at the healing and rebuilding that can be achieved in your marriage if you only give these a try.

If you need help, you can always get help from marriage counseling like online counseling help at www.onlinemarriagecounseling.info/

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How to Save your Marriage

Wednesday, October 28th, 2009

How to save a marriage? Is it possible to save a marriage, that is down in the dumps and on its last legs? The answer to this question is little bit tricky and unconvincing. In many cases, it will be extremely difficult to save a marriage that is deeply in trouble. However, you can save your marriage, if the problem is quite new and recent. How to save your marriage is also a question that needs to be answered little carefully, as you’ll be dealing with two incompatible minds that are at severe conflicts.
How to save a marriage? There are several methods and procedures using which you can attempt to save and revive a dying marriage. These methods could be classified into two broad categories: one that deals directly with each other, while the other that is handled by a professional marriage counselor. As a couple, both of you know each other pretty well, considering you will have been living together for some time. Both of you know each other’s personalities, weakness and strengths. It is also possible that the present problem is due to some silly and trivial reasons. You can try mend fences by simply communicating with each other. Here are some other tips to save your marriage on your own:
 If the problem is due to conflict of opinions and interests, then you can sit down and talk to each other to sort out differences. It is always possible to listen to each other’s problems and apprehensions; but to sit down and talk, you need to forego those egoistic tendencies and selfishness. How to save a marriage is a question that is related to personal prejudices and ego trips.
 Do you have time to spend together? Many marital problems occur as a result of couples not finding time for each other. Boredom and isolation are the two potential enemies of married life. You’ll need to ensure that you find enough private time to hold each other and talk over the marriage in detail,
 How to save your marriage in times of crises? If the crisis reaches a flash point, it is quite difficult to find a long lasting solution. Nevertheless, you can try and find a solution by agreeing to sit down together with your close friend or family member to talk over the pending problems.
 If the problem is quite new, both of you can still patch up the differences by taking a long vacation to some remote place, where you can forget the past events.
 How to save a marriage? It is possible to save marriage by not letting the factors of jealousy becoming a hindrance to your married life. Many couples have a tendency to develop jealousy with each other, which may be anything in nature, like a pay hike for the spouse or a career promotion for the other.
 Never ever, commit adultery or fall a prey to illicit relationship with others. Unfaithfulness seems to be the major cause for a majority of divorces in the world. Try and avoid such mistakes and be faithful to your spouse.
Marriage is like a miracle tonic that can create a permanent bondage between you and your spouse. But, this bondage is possible only, if you are committed and faithful to each other, both in personal and professional life. A stable marriage is permanent! When the problems pile up and disappointments creep into your marriage, you’ll start asking someone this tricky question- how to save my marriage?
Please visit my website www.maryshawe.com to browse the resources I have gathered here for you and learn how they hold the secrets to turn your life around.If you’re particularly interested in marriage advice and counseling, then please click here to read more about “Secrets of Successful Marriage

Mary Shawe is the author of several books on marriage and relationships. Please visit her website to learn more.
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