Posts Tagged ‘Bad Marriage’

Is Your Troubled Marriage Savable? Perhaps Some Of These Ideas Might Work

Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009

When a couple find themselves in a troubled marriage it can be very stressful for both partners. One solution is to look more closely at all those small things, to see if you can find solutions that will work for you. Here are some ideas for you to try.

Try being corny sometimes. It sounds like a cliche but doing something corny. like giving flowers, chocolate, after shave, or any other presents on Valentine’s Day, or even at other times, really can be so romantic. Why not arrange a nice ‘candlelit’ dinner for both of you, and play some sensual music when you’re feeling romantic. And you should never forget that there is a reason some of these ideas are corny ? it’s because they actually work! They help to create that romantic atmosphere – which can keep the lights burning brightly for you both. So, why not go ahead and be corny from time to time.

Why not try being unpredictable now and again, and do something which is unexpected, that will help your spouse, or partner, see that you care. As an example, if you have a favorite take-away restaurant, then stop by on the way home from work and give him, or her, a surprise and a night off from cooking your meal. It may sound small but it counts towards showing that you consider your partner, and want to do something for you both.

Another example; try taking on an annoying chore that your partner loathes doing. With my wife it?s ironing. I know that she does the ironing so much better than me, if the truth is known, but that’s not the issue. But I decided that she?d done enough ironing to last her a lifetime! My solution was to do it all for her, and I know she appreciates me doing it, so she can do other fun things with the time she saves. Mind you I did spend a small fortune on buying a new ?super-duper? iron that gives off more steam than an old-fashioned steam locomotive. I have to make up for my shortcomings in ironing by using technology!

So think about a chore your spouse doesn’t like doing and take it over, even if it’s only occasionally. In my case I decided to take over responsibility for doing the ironing, for the rest of our lives together. I know it sounds stupid, but it really is worth it to me in the ‘brownie points I get. My view was that if it makes my wife feel more ‘cared for’ then the two or three hours I spent on the task was well spent and worth the investment of my time in it.

The fact is that anyone can end up in a troubled marriage if we don’t think things through and try and be more thoughtful. Sometimes, doing those unpredictable things, even the ?corny’ ones, can pay real dividends. Why not go and write down a shortlist of items you could consider doing to help your spouse, or partner, and then do them for him, or her? Or you could share them between you perhaps, if you don’t feel you could take them over permanently. For some people being romantic comes easy, for others it is less so. But try and work on ideas that can help to cement your relationship, and friendship – even if they seem a bit worn out and corny to you. They may not be ‘worn-out’ to your spouse, or partner, so just go ahead and be corny from time to time.

A <a href="http://www.relationship-secrets.com” rel=”nofollow”>troubled marriage can often be a stressful marriage. But it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s the small stuff you need to pay attention to sometimes. This is a site with some really good romantic ideas => http://www.relationship-secrets.com so it’s worth paying a visit to see if it can help you.
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Have You Heard That Cry? Help, Save My Marriage!

Monday, November 2nd, 2009

More and more people are ending up talking with divorce lawyers these days instead of seeking help to “save my marriage”, but does it really have to be that way?

It’s estimated that 52% of marriages fail for one reason or another. It could be for bad reasons like abuse, both mental or physical, infidelity or any number of other things but what is the underlying cause of divorce and what can a person do to get the help to “save my marriage”?

The reasons that a lot of couples split and seek a divorce can be summed up in a few simple words.

Selfishness, when one or both of the parties involved in a relationship thinks more about themselves than the other person. This is a really one sided attitude that will keep a relationship from being strong and loving. If you are seeing things in your marriage going downhill, you need to ask yourself, and answer honestly, am I being selfish and only wanting whats best for me or am I doing everything I can to give my spouse the attention and love that he or she deserves without thinking about what I want?

Infidelity is the primary cause of bteakup’s in a marriage and should be avoided at all costs if you truly want to save your marriage. Infidelity goes right along with selfishness where you or your spouse starts seeing another person because they get treated much better and the spark that you felt seemingly is rekindled.

This isn’t love, it’s more like infatuation and should be avoided as it just creates more problems for those that are serious about saving their marriage.

There are two kinds of pain that we are exposed to in our lives, physical pain and emotional pain. Physical pain from an accident hurts and can sometimes be excruciating but emotional pain or heartache is the type of pain that can cause you to feel hurt more than any physical pain could ever do.

Although emotional pain is not physical, it can cause physical pain and it seems to be more painful than anything that you have ever experienced in your life. It causes you to be unaware of your everyday life by taking your mind off of the things you do on a daily basis like eating regular meals, paying your bills, enjoying your time off and spending quality time with your friends and family.

Drinking, or drowning your sorrows, is another problem with emotional pain and should be avoided at all costs.

Money problems can be another cause of breaking up a couples marriage. Financial problems lead to arguments over almost everything like not being able to pay the rent on time, not having enough food for the month or not being able to go out and enjoy life like you thought you’d be able to.

Couples that really want to save their marriage should adopt a policy of “wants and needs” and work together to overcome their budget battles.

So if you are thinking in the right direction of “I want to save my marriage”, there are a couple of things that you can do to help start down the road to having a great marriage, even if you think it’s broken beyond repair.

First, seek professional help.

This doesn’t mean talking to your family or friends and laying out your troubles to them. Go to a professional counselor that can get you back on the road to a loving relationship.

Second, If you are already separated, don’t push the other person to get back together, that will just push them further away.

Take things slowly, a little at a time and talk rationally. If things start to get heated, just back off and try to talk at another time.

Treat the other person with care and respect even though you may be feeling slighted and hurt. The key is to always give more than you take from your relationship.

If both parties can do that then neither one of you will be yelling those dreadful words, “Help, Save My Marriage”!

Your marriage is the most important thing that you will ever be involved in so what do you do when you need help to save your marriage because it doesn’t work out the way you had expected?Get the “help save my marriage” information you need on the web anytime, day or night.
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